Updated: Apr 19
1. I’m not going to judge you
I'm in this business to help. I'm here because I care, not to judge. I value our shared humanity and the sacredness of your vunerability. I’m not here to pass judgement or tell you what you should be doing. I am a safe space for you to unpack everything, even the nitty gritty details that feel uncomfortable saying out loud.
2. You can talk to me about anything; including sex
Therapists are trained in sexuality and even have sex themselves. Our mental health affects most areas of our life, including sex. If you want to really make a change, I need to know about all of you including the sometimes embarrassing. I promise I won’t cringe, I’ve probably heard it before. I can’t read minds and I can’t help if I don’t know the whole story. In order to truly heal and combat shame, we need to talk about the uncomfortable stuff.
3. I’ve been through my own struggle
For most therapists, it’s not just a job. We are passionate about what we do and something led us to this path. I’ve witnessed my own share of personal darkness and navigated my own healing. I can never completely understand your struggle because it’s uniquely yours. I do, however, know what it’s like to have paralyzing depression, crippling anxiety or grief that haunts every waking moment. The beautiful thing is that I know what it’s like to come out on the other side, finding joy and peace within myself.
4. You might get mad at me, I’m ok with that.
Transference happens in therapy. Angry or hurt feelings towards others might transfer to your therapist as we continue to address them. Professionals are trained to recognize and mange this as you continue to make progress.
5. Your secrets are safe with me.
I don’t talk to my friends or family about what happens in my office. Our time is sacred and your privacy is of upmost importance. You are protected by HIPAA and my professional license. I value you as a human too much to share your story and I value my professional code of ethics to ever risk losing my license.
6. I won’t tell you what to do.
We are a team. My job is to walk beside you and help you find your own unique ways to accomplish your goals. Don’t expect me to make decisions for you, that’s not my job. I will give you honest feedback about your emotions and behavior. I might explore situations with you but I will never tell you what to do. That’s up to you.
7. Don’t work with me if we’re not a good fit.
Research shows the #1 determinate of a successful therapy outcome is the thereuptic alliance. If you don’t feel comfortable with me, I’m probably feeling that too. Feel free to shop around. My therapy style might not sit well with you, you might prefer something else and I am ok with that. Just let me know. I promise not to take it personally and I can even help you find someone who is a better match.
8. The path to healing is not linear.
We do not start therapy and after a few sessions, magically get better. There are ups and downs, setbacks and victories in no particular order. Sometimes things have to get worse, before they can get better. Exploring your past can be painful. Making changes in your life can hurt. I will help you see that even during the setbacks, you are getting closer towards the path of healing. I’m here to hold space during your bumps in the road and celebrate the victories. I might even bring a unique perspective, identifying victories that you did not notice yourself.